dear twittering songbirds
Please refrain from waking my son up at 5:30 a.m.
Unless you've been up all night doing E, singing romantic songs to your partner is really inappropriate at the ungodly hour of dark o'clock. And if that is what's going on? These are the suburbs, we're not really into that shit any more.
Don't make me come out there with a twelve-gauge. I'm sure you don't want your babies growing up orphans.
your friend, landismom the dazed from lack of sleep provider of winter bird seed (for now)