you say quarrelsome, I say disputatious
This post may be dangerous to those who are considering having a second child. You have my permission to skip it.
Okay, now that we got the disclaimer out of the way…why is it that two siblings can’t both be the ‘good kid’ on the same day? If one kid is acting out, demanding, whining, shouting, whatever, you can bet that his/her sibling is cuddling up to you in a sort of ‘oh, look at that, I would never do anything to hurt you Mommy’ kind of way.
Now, the glass-is-half-full part of me thinks that, well, at least there generally aren’t days when both the kids are driving me nuts.
The other part of me, though is reeeeeaaaalllly tired of having arguments. Every. Single. Day.
Arguments about whether it’s really time to go catch the bus to camp, or if I’m making that up. Arguments about whether, if you are a three-year-old, you need to hold my hand while crossing a city street, and not just run out in front of a moving car. Arguments about whether we will eat ice cream for dinner. And of course, arguments about how the other sibling is or is not the anti-christ, and therefore should not be cuddling Mommy, when the arguing sibling is yelling/whining/shouting/ whatever.
Whew. Glad I got that out of my system. Now if only the kids could.
On a completely unrelated note, as I was driving to the bank tonight, I saw someone wearing an O.E.D. t-shirt. Am I a total geek because I wanted it?
Leggy said,
June 26, 2006 at 9:48 pm
If they weren’t arguing with each other, they’d just be arguing with you. That’s what my ‘only’ does. “why do we have to go here?”, “why do I have to go to camp?”, “why can’t I play video games?” Ugh!
Ms Sisyphus said,
June 26, 2006 at 9:52 pm
You’re only a geek if I am too. (wait….I am a geek.)
And I hear ya on the whinging/wimming combo.
My personal fave is bugging and bugging and bugging–the ceaseless repetition of “Mommy?” until you answer “what?” in your most exasperated tone, only to hear “I love you.” You *KNOW* that wasn’t the original statement Ms Whine had planned.
Children are evil. Bt oh so cute.
MetroDad said,
June 26, 2006 at 11:16 pm
Thanks for a brief glimpse into what I’m sure will be my future, LM. So far, everyone has told me that having two kids is not twice as hard. It’s harder.
As for the O.E.D. t-shirt, let me know if you find it! I had a roommate when I was living in DC whose main hobby was reading the dictionary for fun. I’d love to get him that shirt.
Kate the Shrew said,
June 27, 2006 at 11:07 am
Sorry your kids are driving you nuts!
I think part of me is hoping to have a second child just so they’ll argue with each other part of the time, instead of only with me.
Queen B is still happily arguing every single statement I make. I? am getting a Dreyfus-like twitch in my eyelid.
OED T-shirt? Cool! [OK, I'm a geek, too.]
jo(e) said,
June 27, 2006 at 12:01 pm
I remember this well. With four kids, always at least one kid is “having a bad day” or “going through a difficult stage.”
Lucikly, I have a sister who lives in town and has three kids. So when my kids were driving me nuts, I’d call her and say, “Let’s do a kid switch.” And we would trade kids.
And my kids would stop actling like brats when they were with their cool aunt. And her three girls were always great at my house.
So, yep, that was my solution — just trade the kids for new ones.
Suzanne said,
June 27, 2006 at 2:37 pm
I hear ya! I don’t see any end in sight, either.
Our latest contratemps concerns whether certain red vehicles are “fire trucks” or “fire engines.” The indignant tone and impassioned stance that my kids adopt during such arguments would impress any set of academics battling over terminology!
chip said,
June 27, 2006 at 5:25 pm
OMG, I could have posted this exact thing. IOW (and I know I shouldn’t say this cause I don’t want to scare you, but), IT NEVER ENDS!!!!! My kids at their ages still do this. And you are right, it is absolutely exhausting!
I do have to say that the second kid is definitely important and worth it. Much as I love my firstborn, she is incredibly high maintenance, and our son, though he has his moments, is cuddly and loving and makes up (usually) for his older sister’s tantrums, and always has. Let’s hope it stays that way through his teenage years…
chip said,
June 27, 2006 at 5:26 pm
PS. Sorry
Anjali said,
June 27, 2006 at 5:33 pm
Oh, I am SO right there with you. And these last several days of torrential rains has worsened the situation!
Jennifer said,
June 28, 2006 at 2:13 am
LORD I hear you. When my kids have had a long day at daycare, they’re especially contrary. My son (who’s 4) is the worst. This evening he insisted that I stop the sun from making it so hot. Yes you caaaaaan change the weather!!! Do it now!! This is something I figure I have to live through, since, you know, I gave them away for a whole entire day and have to take them back sometime…
Good luck!
MommyWithAttitude said,
June 28, 2006 at 2:20 pm
I’ve had in the back of my mind to write a blog post about parents who have a “favorite” kid, as a lot of people I know who have siblings feel they know which parent favored which kid when growing up.
I’m an only child, so I’m always really trying to be aware of how I might accidentally make one of my kids feel he’s less loved than the other. And really I don’t have a favorite, generally speaking, but day to day I often do. When Little One poops in his underwear five minutes after having sat on the potty insisting he doesn’t have to go, J is often choosing that moment to be the SWEETEST, most helpful, most grown-up, fun-to-be-with kid ever. And likewise when the Little One is all snuggly and cute and “baby-like,” J will be being the most stubborn, obnoxious, bad-mannered kid ever.
And on it goes. I just hope it all evens out in the end (in their eyes)!
Oh and the arguing with me… don’t get me started! I’m too worn down to talk about it.
Ashley said,
June 30, 2006 at 5:06 pm
My kids have been “disputatious” since summer began.. Now I’m just holding on until school starts again. ARGH. Push - push - push.. all the buttons are lit up today.
emma goldman said,
June 30, 2006 at 7:33 pm
The solution is to have a third kid, of course.
jackie said,
July 1, 2006 at 7:06 pm
See, I had two at once, so I had no chance. I don’t know if that’s better or worse, but I can tell you, I hear myself sometimes and I sound so snippy, “Don’t start! Don’t even start fighting again!” Or sometimes I hear quarrelsome voices in the other room and just shout, “STOP FIGHTING!” without even knowing what it was about! That’s right!