I’m starting to think that I might not be good at making friends anymore. We had two parties to go to this weekend, both of which involved lots of new people, and I really didn’t feel like talking to any of them.
Maybe it’s not that I’m not good at making friends, but I just don’t want any new ones.
I’m tired of feeling like I’m losing track of people. I made a vow this year that I would try to have lunch with a friend at least once a month, and I’m not sure that I’m keeping it, so far.
I find it really hard to balance work and parenthood and being a good friend. Adding new people will surely only make me feel guiltier.
Part of my problem is that I used to see a lot of my work-friends at meetings, but as I’ve moved into more of a statewide job, I don’t have as much time to go to meetings locally as I once did. I mean, hell, this is the first post I’ve put up in a week–I don’t even have time to blog any more! Another part of the problem is that most of my friends are as busy as I am.
Sometimes, I wonder what it will be like, when the kids are grown enough that every day isn’t a rush to pick them up from school, to get home and do homework, eat dinner, have some quality family time. Will I then be able to go out to a casual dinner with friends, the kind that right now takes a month of planning to arrange?
Sometimes I think I should just work harder at maintaining my friendships. After all, how will I have friends left to have casual dinners with, if I’m not working hard to cultivate those friendships now?
How do you keep your friendships going, in the face of all the other competing pressures?
My favorite dad-blogger, MetroDad, wrote a post last week that I really enjoyed which consisted of questions to other parents. I liked it so much, I’m ripping it off.
Why does my daughter insist on wearing her batting helmet onto the field when she’s playing softball? Is this a sign that she’s destined to be one of the uncool kids?
If a four-year-old boy and a gnat are in the same room, which one will get distracted first? What if there are legos in the room? How does the equation change if there are dinosaurs? Train sets?
Is it wrong for me to refuse to let my children watch the movie Alvin & The Chipmunks in a movie theater, and instead Netflix it so that I don’t have to be in the same room with that singing?
Is it a sign that I’m getting old that I can no longer listen to my beloved hip hop, because I can’t listen to one more song that references a stripper pole? Didn’t there used to be lots of popular music that didn’t talk about strippers?
When I’ve repeatedly warned a certain child that she’s going to be late to her softball game if she doesn’t put her cleats on right now, why is it my fault when she actually is late?
Which of the following scenarios is likely to happen soonest: 1) the parents who decide that it’s okay for them to block the entrance to the daycare with their cars will have a change of heart or 2) the Potato will enter kindergarten and stop going to daycare?
At what age will I stop carrying crayons with me everywhere that I go?
When I finally do break down and get a cell phone for my kid (which is still years in the future), what will she set her sights on next, a fake ID?
Is the rate at which a child outgrows a pair of pants directly related to the amount of money that one spent on those pants?
If you only have one pen in your purse, and that pen is hot pink and has a Polly Pocket doll on the end, is it acceptable to use that pen in a meeting? with your boss?
At what age can I expect that my child will use the bathroom when he needs to, instead of insisting that he doesn’t need to pee while hopping up and down in a frantic manner?
If a child’s friend, when entering one’s house for the first time, exclaims, “this is the messiest house I’ve ever been in!,” is it socially acceptable to send her home with a dust-bunny in her pocket?
Answers in the comments—or questions of your own—are welcome!
In Martin Sherman’s Bent, there is a scene where two of the main characters (gay men in a Nazi prison camp) move a huge pile of rocks to one side of the prison yard, take a three-minute break, and then move the pile back to its starting point over and over again. Sometimes I feel like that’s what landisdad and I do with the stuff in our basement, except without the pink triangles or the threat of death.
Which is a long (and melodramatic) way of saying that we’re once again living with a ton of boxes in our dining room.
Because our water heater cracked, and flooded the basement.
sigh.
Fortunately, it happened on a day we were home. Unfortunately, we didn’t realize it in time to keep 38 gallons of water from flooding our basement carpet. Which now needs replacing. And the guy who finished our basement in the first place has gotten out of the residential contracting business, and now only does commercial work.
(And let me just say what a sad day that was for residents in our area, since when I called him to find out who he subcontracted the carpet to, he called me back within 6 hours, and offered to find us someone else if we couldn’t use our original carpet guy. Best. Contractor. Ever.)
I can’t tell you how many plumbers, electricians, and other contractors we have called over the years. Many of them never called back. Some of them made appointments, and then never showed up. Some of them came and did estimates, and then never came back to do the actual work.
Enter the fine folks from Service Magic. Ever since we started using this free service to find contracting help, we have had no such contractor problems, and they didn’t fail us this time either. Two carpet guys called within a couple of hours, and both showed up for their appointments. One of them is coming tomorrow to sign a contract, and then on Saturday to install our new carpet.
We’re never using the phone book to find a contractor again.
As a kid, I played out side and ran around all day. In the spring, summer and fall, I probably spent five or six hours outside every day. Although I was already an inveterate reader, my mother would kick me out of the house to get some exercise (and save her sanity, no doubt).
My brothers and I, along with the other kids in our neighborhood, had the run of our block, and at the end of our street was a Catholic school with a huge parking lot, bounded by an enormous field. We rode bikes, played war, tag, Breakout, and other games that now make me wonder if we were all practicing for a life of evading the police.
In my early adulthood, I had a job that actually required that I walk around for three or four hours per night, and didn’t really worry about my level of physical activity. But as I grew older, a more sedentary lifestyle, both at work and at home, getting regular exercise got harder. And when we moved from California to a place with real winter, and then had the kids on top of that, it became downright difficult to keep up the limited activity regimen I had established.
CamiKaos from Mommified Me issued a challenge last month to the blogosphere–to pledge to each other that we would exercise at least three times a week. I told her I would do it, as long as I could count my new workout: climbing the stairs wherever possible. Since, when I go to my office, I park in a garage where I routinely have to park on the 9th or 10th floor, that does require significantly more effort than you might originally think. (Oddly, I work on the 3rd floor of a 4-story building–it’s just the parking lot that makes me huff and wheeze.
Here’s a thing I know about myself–I hate to exercise. I will, however, concede that I need to do it. But if I can make it not a special thing that I have to do, and instead, a habit–that is what is going to make me succeed.
Have I mentioned that my favorite show on the teevee, like ever, is ending this year? Sob! It’s not right
But, oh, it’s so good to have the new episodes.
If you haven’t seen the show, here are the first four seasons in four minutes:
And let me just say, the fact that Obama and I are united in our appreciation of Omar makes me more likely to vote for him. Yes, I realize that’s shallow. But a man (or in this case, a woman) must have a code.
I think all the presidential candidates should have to tell us who their favorite characters from The Wire are. In fact, perhaps the show should be required viewing for anyone who thinks they can easily fix this nation’s problems.
because god knows, I spent enough money this weekend. But I’m pretty close to done my holiday shopping. This year, I’ve got three themes for my holiday gift-giving:
Baking is good. I plan to bake for a couple of people I usually buy gifts for, in an effort to reduce my tendency to buy people cute things that will sit in their shelves for the next 11 months until they re-gift them. At least the baked goods will be thrown out immediately if they’re not eaten.
Snapfish is better. Because who doesn’t want a coffee mug with a picture of my kids on it?
And Etsy is the best of all. Finally! Funky DIY gifts I don’t have to DIMyself! And how adorable will my niece look in this?
All kidding aside, I am making stuff for my kids this year, too. But I haven’t even started the Potato’s new teddy bear yet, and I’m slightly less than halfway through the Bee’s quilted totebag. Pictures of that stuff will be forthcoming when they’re completed, assuming that happens before 5:59 a.m. on Christmas morning.
Hope everyone had a great weekend, and you’re not stressed out by the holiday rush!
