Christmas Compromises

I was reading this post over at the Bored Housewives Network, and I started to respond in comments, but it got kinda long, so I’m posting here instead.

I’m married to a mostly secular Jew (albeit one who celebrates Christmas), so I do have some sense of how you feel. My dh is not overly anti-Christmas, but I think he keeps a certain distance from it. One of the things I’ve learned over time is that there are things that he will do just to keep me happy (like getting and decorating a tree), and things that I won’t ask him to do to keep him happy (like watching Christmas movies all day, which he would absolutely not be down for).

I think it helps that I help him celebrate not just Hanukkah (an only-mildly-important Jewish holiday), but also Passover, Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah (the big three). And that, even though I’m celebrating Christmas, I’m not a religious person at all (or a Christian). For both of us, the celebration of these holidays is really more about a celebration of our culture, than it is about faith (and yes, mine is the culture of commercialization while his is the culture of fasting).

Like any marriage or long-term partnership, it’s all about the compromises.


December 16, 2005. random other things.


  1. Cheryl Fuller replied:

    My first husband was also a secular Jew. We did every conceivable Jewish and Christian holiday though neither of us was religious. Now that we are no longer married and our kids are grown up and, like us, quiet secular, I still do Christmas and Easter and the kids expect latkes and candles for Hanukkah. We’ve settled into being Unitarian and cover all of the bases that way!

  2. Daedalus replied:

    The more holidays to celebrate the better!

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