dear twittering songbirds


Please refrain from waking my son up at 5:30 a.m.

Unless you've been up all night doing E, singing romantic songs to your partner is really inappropriate at the ungodly hour of dark o'clock. And if that is what's going on? These are the suburbs, we're not really into that shit any more.

Don't make me come out there with a twelve-gauge. I'm sure you don't want your babies growing up orphans.


your friend, landismom the dazed from lack of sleep provider of winter bird seed (for now)


June 3, 2006. random other things.


  1. Suzanne replied:

    They wake me up, too, and it takes forever to go back to sleep; usually just in time for one of the kids to wake up.

    Still, at least it’s just me, and not my kids. That would be, as you suggest, grounds for fairly drastic measures.

  2. Jay replied:

    Hmm. I think that once you’ve threatened them with death, you can’t truly sign yourself their friend anymore. Breach of etiquette, or something.

  3. chip replied:

    and it’s gonna get earlier and earlier and earlier until June 22 or so… Here it starts at about 4:15am at the end of June. Fortunately my kids are at the age where mom and dad saying “wake up”, much less song birds, cannot wake them in the morning…

  4. chichimama replied:

    I’ll take that gun whenyou finish with it…so sorry you are having similar issues.

  5. E. replied:

    I feel your pain. I’m conflicted: the late spring and early summer ye-god-awful hour lovely songs of the birds reminds me of the early days of my courtship with my husband, that May and June when we’d talk until the sun came up. But now it’s just messing with my life, waking my three-year-old up (and thus me) way earlier than is practical or sane. Hearing dawn birdsong can be a nice way to end the day, but it’s not a good way for a non-morning person like me to start it.

  6. kdubs replied:

    I grew up in the city area, the “suburbs” but really the city. And even there I had this woodpecker taht I swear knew it was the weekend. EVERY weekend it pecked. It banged. It sounded like a gun. It was awful. I so feel your pain LOL.

  7. Kate the Shrew replied:

    Oh, sorry, we’ve got that, too. Have you tried turning a fan on in his bedroom? The white noise does a decent job of covering up the birds, for a while.

  8. scarbiedoll replied:

    Um yeah. Our Portuguese neighbour used to keep pigeons. He called them doves, but they were dirty-ass pigeons. All night long “Hoorrrrrrr, hoooorrrr”

    When the baby was born, we decided to move. Good luck with that.

  9. Anjali replied:

    Three words for you:
    White Noise Machines

    They’re they next best way to end the problem, other than violence.

  10. another letter to my feathered friends « Bumblebee Sweet Potato replied:

    […] letter to my feathered friends 05May07 Last year, I wrote about how the Potato was getting woken up every morning by the birds in our yard. I’m happy to say that I never resorted to violence to get through […]

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