some advice to those who will serve time as my kid’s teacher

I’m really tired of going to the Bee’s school to volunteer, and having a teacher pull me aside to tell me something potentially negative about my kid. The next time we’re having a discussion about volunteer recruitment at the PTA, I’m going to need to bring this one up. Because guess what? I don’t take an hour off from work in the middle of the day because you asked me to so that I can be blindsided.

If that shit is important, you need to schedule a meeting with me. Send me an email. Hell, just write a note on a piece of paper and send it home in her backpack.

Do not, however, drop a bombshell on me by crooking your finger and murmuring to me outside your classroom, while my daughter sits there practicing addition with 18 other kids. It’s disrespectful of my time, and instead of leading me to a place where I might calmly discuss the issue, it just makes me fume.


September 20, 2006. thoughtful parenting.


  1. Deidre Aufiero replied:

    Yet I’msure you got the note in the backpack saying, “Make an appointment if you have anything to discuss. Just showing up in the classroom is inappropriate.”

  2. chip replied:

    not to be cynical or anything 🙂 but I think maybe they are thinking, even subconsciously, that parents are less likely to be firm and demanding if they are in the classroom area where there are other kids, than if they are alone with the teacher at a meeting that is specifically about whatever issues there are. I’d communicate directly to the teacher that you’d prefer not to hear about things this way, but rather set up a separate time.

  3. Sandra replied:

    Great post. Schools are constantly reminding parents to make an appointment, and not just approach teachers in the hallways to address concerns. I realize many parents ignore the rules and try to conduct impromptu conferences without an appointment, but teachers should be modeling the correct approach.

    They should also realize it could cut down on volunteers.

  4. angela replied:

    That’s just rude. You’re there to help out with the children in the classroom, not ignore the children, while the teacher ignores the children, leaving the children alone in a classroom by themselves!

  5. Jenny replied:

    i hope i never get called in for something like that, but knowing his father, its something im gonna get called for A LOT!!

  6. christie replied:

    well said
    and that was rude of them.. errr her

  7. Jay replied:

    If a teacher is that unprofessional, doesn’t make you wonder if the problem is more him/her than anything else?

  8. Daydreams and Musings replied:

    Wow – I can’t imagine what that teacher was thinking. I hope she respects your request for a separate meeting. On the other hand, the one time we got a note sent home asking us to make an appointment, I was a basket case until we were able to reach the teacher. It turns out she had sent the same note home to all parents just because she thought it would be good to touch base. That’s fine but she made it look like our daughter might be having a problem when she could have simply made clear what she was doing.

  9. Mike replied:

    This is why we are beginning our homeschooling this year. As a product of the public education system, and still hearing the stories of teachers who should not be teaching, especially my kids, is it any wonder the number of homeschooling parents are making the sacrafice for their children?

    Homeschool Education

  10. Comfort Addict replied:

    That is a great post, LM. I think that it shows a profound lack of respect to do what you describe. It’s as if she didn’t care enough to set up a meeting and was trying to maximize efficiency by doing a drive-by conference.

    We all need to show each other more civility and respect.

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