I’ve joined a secret society
Last weekend, I took the Bee to an outdoor festival, and I have some bad news to report.
It’s official. I’ve turned into my mother.
When I was a kid, I could never understand why my mother talked to other people in public, and as I got older, I found it hideously embarrassing. She seemed inappropriate, simultaneously chatty & over-familiar.
And yet, last weekend I:
- First told a total stranger that her son was a great big brother, after watching him help his little brother color a craft project; and
- Then commented to another stranger (a mom with her kid) that there were sinks in a portable restroom that was next to a much less useful porta-potty.
I didn’t know, when my mom was holding these embarrassing conversations, that she was doing it out of a sense of sisterhood. Now that I’ve joined that sisterhood, I suddenly understand her motivation. She wasn’t setting out to make me cringe, she was actively trying to make life easier for other women, particularly women with kids.
There are a lot of times that the mom-infighting gets me down–the working mom vs. SAHM, the helicopter parent vs. the neglectful mom. It’s nice, once in a while, to just help another mom have an easier day.
elise replied:
You mean we’re not supposed to talk in public? Oops to late now:)
April 28, 2007 at 7:03 am. Permalink.
chichimama replied:
I’ve discovered the same thing. It is very true!
April 28, 2007 at 7:50 am. Permalink.
Procrastamom replied:
I agree. The bandaids I keep in my purse have come in handy more than once for kids who aren’t my own.
I love the sisterhood part of parenting.
April 28, 2007 at 11:34 am. Permalink.
Susan replied:
I have met way more people here (in a part of the country I don’t think is very friendly) since becoming a mother. I definitely like it.
April 28, 2007 at 7:44 pm. Permalink.
christie replied:
oh god, I used to think that was soooooo embarrassing too.
Now I find myself doing the same thing as well.
Sigh
April 29, 2007 at 9:32 am. Permalink.
Staci replied:
My mom happens to just have that type of personality, in addition to it being a “mom” thing — and I was always mortified by it. But I do the same thing now. Something about either getting old or having kids just gives me more and more of a “we’re all in this together” feeling. And also, I think I have much more empathy for others than I used to and it makes me want to “reach out.”
I have boys though, and I have a feeling the sensitivity to it might be a “girl” thing? So maybe I won’t embarrass them too much!
April 29, 2007 at 12:31 pm. Permalink.
Sue replied:
Being nice doesn’t cost anything does it and I bet you felt good afterwards? You can usually tell those people that don’t mind as well.
But I have to admit, when the sun is shining and the wind is blowing in the right direction and the confidence is there, I have done the same. 🙂
April 29, 2007 at 4:23 pm. Permalink.
Jackie replied:
I could have written this entry, exactly! Well-said! I find myself much more likely to be embarrassing in public now that I’m in the sisterhood :).
April 30, 2007 at 4:03 pm. Permalink.
Carter-Ann replied:
Wow, I know what you mean. It’s so embarrasing when the parent doesn’t reciprocate interest though….
May 1, 2007 at 12:44 pm. Permalink.