on the one hand…

The Bee’s counselor called landisdad today to talk about her progress. The Bee has only had two negative interactions in class since the school year started, and the counselor feels like she is managing her mistake-handling fairly well. She suggested that we sit down and have a conversation with her about how she thinks she’s going to do on her report card, to see if she has unrealistic expectations of perfection, and try to defuse that in advance. (Not that we expect a bad report card, just a less-than-perfect one.) The counselor also said that she would be spending less time with the Bee after this marking period, because there are other kids who need her help much more.

On the other hand…

last week the counselor and the Bee made worry beads. Today, they strung the beads, and the Bee was supposed to name them after 12 things that made her happy or relaxed. She could only come up with 9 things. (I was a little surprised to see that her brother made the list, but her dad and I did not.) The counselor said that, overall, the Bee has not really opened up to her. I’m happy to be able to have another adult’s perspective on her emotional state, but it’s disconcerting to think that she’s not just a happy-go-lucky kid when we’re not around. I guess I have this fantasy that she’s just acting miserable at home, and then going off to school and being happy there.

I think that landisdad and I don’t do a particularly good job of talking about things that make us happy, and that’s rubbed off on her. We have a lot of conversations that involve indignation (righteous or otherwise), and I know that the Bee could tell me 12 things that make her mad in a heartbeat.

During dinner tonight, I asked everyone what made them happy today. The only person at the table who couldn’t—or wouldn’t—come up with something was the Bee. I didn’t press her on it, because I don’t think that would be particularly helpful. But I do think we’ll be starting our dinner conversations with some similar topic from here on out.

October 17, 2007. thoughtful parenting. 8 comments.