40 + drama = unhappy landismom

So I turned 40 earlier this month, and apparently that was the cue for a whole bunch of things to start going wrong in my world. In the past three weeks I have:

  • Had a car accident (minor! no one hurt! but over $2K worth of damage to my car!) (okay, this was the night before my birthday, but I think it still counts)
  • Lost my wallet. While traveling. And got stuck in an airport overnight with no credit cards.
  • and landisdad’s car broke down, requiring a major overhaul of the electrical system

Right now, we’re a one (rental) car family, with both of our cars in the shop. Is it any wonder I’m feeling pinched financially?

I’m kind of starting to take it personally. As if there’s something out there in the universe telling me, “hey, your thirties are over, babe, it’s hard knocks from here on out!”

In addition to the drama, my work life is heating up (why hello election, you really are just around the corner now, aren’t you?) and the kids are trying to kill each other on an almost-daily basis.

I’m not sure that there’s anything worse than watching your children fight, unless it’s hearing them tell each other that they wish the other one was dead. I once asked my FIL if landisdad and his brother fought a lot when they were kids, and he said, “they did, but you seem to care about it a lot more.”

At one point, I tried to get the kids to gang up on me, thinking that at least they could have solidarity about that. It worked. For about a minute.

There are days when I just wonder, “did we actually ruin the Bee’s life by having a second child? or would she be even more self-centered than she is now if she were still an only?”

It really sucks to have to entertain both those thoughts.


July 29, 2008. family life, thoughtful parenting.


  1. chichimama replied:

    oh my, quite a time you have had. It always stinks when things pile up like that. I wouldn’t worry too much about the kids fighting though. My sister and I didn’t talk to each other beyond “Pass the pepper please” for a full two years when we were about 7 and 11. Now we talk at least once a day. It boggles my mother’s mind.

    Hang in there…

  2. MetroDad replied:

    My brother and I fought constantly growing up but by the time we were teenagers, we were like best friends. On the other hand, a good friend of mine and his brother fought a lot while they were growing up too. Now they don’t even speak to one another. It breaks their mother’s heart. I think that’s an exception, however. Most kids seem to outgrow it.

    Sorry to hear that Murphy’s Law has hit you!

  3. Anjali replied:

    So sorry about the cars.

    My brother and I fought all the time, too. Then when he hit the 7th grade, we became good friends, and still are to this day.

    Hang in there!

  4. Velma replied:

    My sisters and brother and I fought and fought and fought, but now we are all each others best support. I’m glad the broken things in your house are inanimate, despite the bad words. 🙂

  5. Narya replied:

    Not only did my siblings and I fight (my sister was only 17 mos. younger than I am, so there was all kinds of stuff there), my mom mostly let us fight it out. She. Wasn’t. Interested. I still look back on that experience having taken several things from it:
    1) you do, in fact, have to work things out with people. they’re not going away, so finding a way to coexist will be happier for everyone.
    2) you are not the center of the universe.
    3) come teenage years, your sibling will be your ally in a way your parents no longer can be. (This combined with 1) when my sister and i both needed to get someplace and my mother wasn’t willing to drive us but was willing to let us borrow the car.)
    Maybe they’ll be able to see the coexist thing soon . . . or you’ll have earplugs.

  6. Susan replied:

    Oh geesh: you could use a break from the universe. I have no helpful advice, but lots of sympathy. Hang in there.

  7. Jody replied:

    The fighting drives me crazy, too. I second-guess every parenting decision I ever made — although that whole “should we have a second or not” question was out of my hands, so at least that one’s off my plate.

    Here’s hoping for a smoother few weeks soon.

  8. always home and uncool replied:

    40 … it’s old 65 for some of us. Hope it get better.

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