realizations that I’ve rather not have had

The Bee acts badly when she’s mad at me for going away. I’m beginning to see that she does it because then she can tell herself that my leaving has something to do with her behavior, not something that is totally out of her control.

This sucks. A lot.

I guess it’s good for her to feel control. I wish it didn’t mean that we were fighting the whole time I’m at home. I wish that she would just tell me that she’s mad at me for working too much, or traveling too much, instead of making it about how I ruined her life because she can’t find her purse.

But I guess she wouldn’t be 8, then.


August 15, 2008. thoughtful parenting.


  1. Anjali replied:

    But here’s the good news. When she’s upset about losing her purse, you KNOW what she’s really upset about.

    I still can’t always figure out what the underlying issue is, to things that make mine freak out…

  2. Jody replied:

    Yeah, at least you know enough to articulate her anxieties back to her, and give her the language to express them. I usually don’t figure out the REAL reason for the day’s explosion until it’s far too late to help.

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