tired of poop

It doesn’t really seem fair, but landisdad and I have been spending as much time dealing with poop lately as we did when we had an infant in the house. Since school started again after the holidays, the Potato has had an accident at school almost every day. It’s extremely frustrating, partly because I know that we didn’t handle it well at first.

We’ve taken him to the doctor, and have a referral to a pediatric gastroenterologist for next week, and I’m hoping that there will be some fairly non-invasive solution. In investigating the possibilities online today, I’ve made the mistake of reading a bunch of blogs that mention the need for surgery, and I’m seriously hoping that we won’t need to do that.

At this point, the main thrust of my frustration is with the school, though. While initially sympathetic, both his own teacher and the principal have clearly gotten over their sympathy, and just want the problem to go away. We’ve talked to them about it, and kept them abreast of the medical progress–and we’ve been sending him to school every day with a change of clothes and baby wipes–but they’ve clearly gotten to the point that they just don’t think this is their problem. On Friday, landisdad had to pick the Potato up early, as he had a major accident that involved his shoes. When he got there, the principal sat him down in her office to tell him that she wanted us to come and pick him up every time he had an accident from here on.

Does it seem fair that my son should be leaving school early every day, because he doesn’t have control of his bowels?

It’s not that I believe that a kindergarten teacher should be cleaning up after my son every day. And I understand that it can be disruptive to the other kids. But doesn’t my kid deserve to get an education too?

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January 17, 2009. family life.

6 Comments

  1. elise replied:

    This must be incredible difficult for you as well as for you son! You must be really worried and it must be stressful for him as well.

    As far as the school’s reaction, I pondered that for quite some time. At first I pictured this poor kindergarten teacher coming to school everyday and dealing with this. Then I thought about it more and thought about how if this is happening everyday, then they really do need to learn to just handle it. YES, your right, your son deserves to get an education as well as be treated with respect. The principal let her frustration punish your son when she told him that she expected you to come pick him up everytime he had an accident. Why would he need to be told this? If that is her solution then that is something she needs to discuss with you, not put that burden onto your son’s shoulders. Let the adults work out the details. (And that is not a good solution. )

    It would seem to me that when this happens they should discreetly send your son to the nurses office where his extra clothes should be and the nurse gets him cleaned up and sent back to class. If the teacher is the one left doing the cleaning up, maybe you can recommend he be sent to the nurses office. If this is an every day occurrence then they need to hunker down and treat it as routine. Kids throw up, kids have snotty noses, kids have goopy eyes, kids have accidents, that is the life of a school nurse. I’m sure that this will not be the favorite thing in her life but that’s the way it is.

    With all my health issues I’ve found that people do indeed lose their sympathy quickly. Some people’s patience is longer than others. Good luck and I really hope everything works out well. I hope the doctor has good news with an easy solution. Maybe this will just become “the poop phase” that you will look back on later. That’s what I will hope for you!

  2. Anjali replied:

    I am so sorry. That is really, really tough. And since it seems to be a health issue (and my fingers are crossed it’s a minor, easily correctable one), the nurse should deal with it. Or, if she really won’t, why can’t they send him to the nurses office, wait for your husband to change him (if he’s available), and then send him back to class. Going home for the day is way, way too harsh.

  3. Library Lady replied:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if the principal legally CAN’T do what she is telling you. There are laws on the books to protect the rights of kids with disabilities and I’d think that a medical problem would come under this–you might want to check on it.

    Regardless of the law, Anjali’s right. The nurse should be dealing with this. Have you spoken to her (or him)? I had a lot of help with several problems SC had in elementary school with our school nurse–in fact, she and I figured out the cause of an allergic reaction SC was having that had stumped her doctor!

    I hope that you are able to find out what’s going on with the poor sweetie and that is gets resolved quickly and easily. Hang in there, I know this has to be hellish for you and Landisdad.

  4. Susan replied:

    I hope the doctor visits do some good: we have been through our fair share of potty problems at school–seems like the school should be working with you more to get through this. Sending him home for the day?!? Ridiculous.

  5. chichimama replied:

    I am so sorry, for everyone. I too would think that the logical solution would be a trip to the nurse’s office.

    And I hope that the gastro has some good ideas, that don’t involve surgery. Big, big hugs.

  6. Jody replied:

    I haven’t read ahead yet to hear the doctor’s report, but I hope you’ve talked to the school nurse by now. Both nurses we’ve seen have been helpful and willing to talk through any situation. It does seem as if a medical problem cannot be grounds for early dismissal every day.

    My sympathies to you and the Potato. This must be especially tough for him.

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