two months in

to our new lives, and there’s sort of starting to be a routine.

The kids have real beds at my apartment now, no more sleeping on air mattresses. The couch is slated to be delivered during Spring Break. And today, I broke down and bought a TV. With built-in DVD player, because no matter what, it makes no economic sense at all for me to pay for cable for the 4-6 days a month they will be staying here.

Landisdad and I have an appointment with a mediator. We’ve had some squabbles here and there, but I’m happy to report that we continue to be able to have an open line of communication and little disagreement when it comes to dealing with kid issues.

The Potato’s behavior has crystallized somewhat into: “every weekend that I’m at mom’s, I’ll have a meltdown.” The good thing about spending so much time with him during the week, since he’s no longer going to aftercare, is that I’ve been reassured that this really is about the changes in his schedule and surroundings, and isn’t proof that he hates me forever.

When I’m at their house, or he’s at my office, he’s fine. It’s only here that he hates me :).

Next weekend is Easter, the first major holiday since our separation. Originally, landisdad was planning on taking the kids to visit his mom for the weekend, but the Potato freaked out that we wouldn’t be having our normal Easter egg hunt at home, so we shelved that plan. Now, I’ll be heading over there at the crack of dark to be there when they wake up.

The kids wanted me to sleep over, and I have stayed there when landisdad’s been away. But it’s weird every time. It’s just not my place anymore, and I don’t feel comfortable. I wish it wasn’t like that, but it is.


April 17, 2011. separation.


  1. Jody replied:

    I’m glad things are settling into a comfortable routine. The first holidays are the hardest, right? But that will get better too.

  2. Susan replied:

    I think you’re doing amazing work getting through all this transition–meltdowns included.

  3. jo(e) replied:

    That sounds like progress.

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