it wasn’t until I saw one of those

“one year ago today” posts on Facebook that I remembered that today is the one year anniversary of the fight that ended my marriage.

I guess it’s progress, of a sort, that I had almost forgotten that I spent all of Labor Day weekend 2010 curled in the fetal position on the living room couch.

A lot has changed in that year.

The kids are staying with me this week, and we’re off. We’ve been doing a lot of banal stuff—shopping for school supplies and sports equipment, new shoes and outfits.

A couple of nights ago, I was lying on my bed, reading, and the Potato wandered in for a cuddle. I said to him, “you like to start and end your day with a snuggle, don’t you?” and he laughed and said, “yes.” Now, every night he comes in and lies down next to me for a few minutes—he’s already had the long-established practice of jumping into bed with me in the morning (which he does with an unseemly glee on the coldest winter mornings, with his cold feet).

The kids will be staying with me much less when the school year starts. We’ll be back to our old routine, where I spend the evening with them at their house, and come back to my apartment alone.

I wonder, if I had known a year ago what I know now, what I might have done differently.


September 2, 2011. separation.


  1. Jody replied:

    Impossible to say, right?

    Selfishly, I hope that future years bring you more time with the kids at your place. These things are always an evolution but it’s got to be rough, spending so much time on the ex’s ground to be with the kids.

  2. thordora replied:

    You can ask that question of yourself, but also of him. there’s no real answer in my mind.

    and I want to turn those damn things off, as we’re coming up on the 2 year mark for us.

  3. Susan replied:

    I’m not sure what to say, but want you to know I”m here listening. And hoping that the next year brings you more ways to feel at home, with your kids, in your own space.

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