frozen monkeys

The Bee woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. (Though lately, as landisdad pointed out to me recently via text message, every side of the bed is the wrong side for her. I’m hoping it’ll pass when she turns 13. Naive, I know.)

She came into my room where I was lying in bed reading, and started yelling at me about something that really didn’t have anything to do with me. I yelled back for a while, and then I took away a certain electronic device that she had been holding and threatening to hit me with.

I honestly don’t know if she will ever stop being angry. She’s been angry since birth, and since her father and I separated, the anger has been spilling out all over the place.

I have to remind myself sometimes that it’s not about me–it’s about her. I mean, there is some part of it that is about me–I’m not trying to delegitimize her anger. But at the end of the day, her anger management issues are a deeply ingrained part of her, and they get better and worse.

The only way I got her off it, this morning, was by being goofy. Apparently, the phrase “monkeys eat frozen peas” and variations of same (frozen monkeys eat peas) is just too weird, when repeated over and over again by your mother, to stay mad.


July 22, 2012. kid reaction.


  1. Elise replied:

    You know, my youngest (daughter) is the one who has been the most difficult for me. She is now 15 years old and I STILL am not sure if I am headed in the right direction. She doesn’t have anger issues but she worries about everything and seems unhappy much of the time. I in turn worry about her and feel unhappy with how I am raising her! ha ha ha! I think for me the uncertainty is what is most difficult. It’s not that I don’t want to do the tough work of parenting, it’s just that much of the time I don’t know the right thing to do! I know that my comment might not help but maybe you’ll feel better knowing that you are not alone:)

  2. Jim McQuiggin replied:

    My oldest is about to turn 14 (in another month or so) and she vacillates between being taciturn and being a child again. All things considered, I’m positive she’ll turn out just fine. I was warned about this stage of adolescence (especially in girls) but I’m finding that it’s not nearly as bad as most people made it out to be.

    Wow. I just started blogging again (at and returned to Patriside to look at some my old stuff there. One thing led to another, saw a link to you and decided too click through to see if you were still posting. A splendid surprise. Almost everybody from the old days packed up and split.

    You’re rare, indeed.

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