a new year, and a new year

Yesterday, on Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, the Bee turned 9. We didn’t let her stay up till midnight to see the ball drop, but it did have a kind of doubly-celebratory feeling.

It’s so hard now to remember back to what life was like 9 years ago, especially when I think that 9 years from now, our day-to-day grind of parenting the Bee will be basically over—because she’ll be a college freshman (god willing). It’s funny to think that parenting has a half-way point—of course, I don’t actually believe that I’ll ever stop worrying about her, or loving her, or being her mom.

I am hoping that 9 years from now I won’t be dragging her butt out of bed every morning to get her ready on time, though.

In some ways, that day 9 years ago was the happiest day of my life. Having gotten through 36 hours of labor, I foolishly thought the hard part was over. And while none of the parenting that’s occurred over the past 9 years has been QUITE that physically taxing, you couldn’t really say it has been easy, either. Certainly not emotionally.

I was happy when the Potato was born too, but it was a happiness that was mixed with more worry—worry about how the Bee would deal with becoming a big sister, worry that I would have a hard time adjusting to being a mom of two (and knowing somewhat better what becoming a mom entailed than I did the first time). When the Bee was born, I was awash in happy ignorance. By the time the Potato came around, I knew better.

We had a relatively quiet day yesterday. Picked the kids up right after school for once, went out to dinner, saw my brother. But the Bee’s now-annual sleepover is being held this weekend, and she’s saving up her real partying for that night.

I remember, from my own childhood, that the older one gets, the less attractive it is to spend one’s birthday celebrating with one’s family. I don’t think she’s quite at that point yet, she’s still interested in having us around (although will utterly ignore us, I’m sure, when the 9-year-old posse arrrives, except to ask for food). But the day when we’re quietly irrelevant to her birthday is a little bit closer than it was last year.

It will never just be her birthday to me, though. It’s the day I was born as a mom.

Advertisements

October 1, 2008. growing up.

6 Comments

  1. De replied:

    I was having a similar discussion with my husband, as our 3 yo just brought home his first birthday party invitation from pre-school. He’s been there a total of 7 days and his favorite pretend game to play at home with me is now “playdate.” Sometimes I wonder if our daughter (6) has enough “friend time,” but I am aware and grateful that she still is of the age that family are the people most important to her in every way.

    Congratulations on your Mom-iversary. I know so many women who gave birth this past month, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about those early days. I wish I could have appreciated them more at the time, but I cherish them well now.

  2. Sandra replied:

    Happy Birthday!

  3. Procrastamom replied:

    Happy Birthday to the Bee!

  4. Jody replied:

    Happy Birthday!

    Nine. Wow.

  5. MetroDad replied:

    Awww….beautiful sentiments, LM. Happy birthday to the Bee. And happy 9th anniversary of becoming a great mom.

  6. alala replied:

    I think about that too – whenever a friend of mine is celebrating her firstborn’s birthday, I always make a point of wishing her a Happy Birthday too.

    So. Happy Birthday to you! And also to the Bee, of course.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback URI

%d bloggers like this: